Monday, October 17, 2016

Another day

Don't you love when unsolicited comments come your way?  Some float in, others are more like ICBMs.


"Don't let yourself get depressed."  Yeah right.  I've got what is diagnosed as clinical depression.  It's treated with medication and therapy.  Everybody can have a down day but some have the "clinical" brand, which is an ongoing thing.  Recently, one of my doctors told me that she thinks my depression is in remission.  2 days later I hit a slide down that would surpass the strongest of roller coaster drops.  

What causes it?  Who the hell knows, at least in my situation.  It seems the depression is there in the wings, and when something happens  that isn't as good, "it" latches on to the situation and takes me on an unwanted ride.  I guess sometimes I just get tired of explaining it to people.  I would give anything for this not to happen.

Money.  Yeah it is a problem, but isn't it a problem for most of us?

Loneliness.  Yeah that too.  It's odd.  Last weekend there was a bike/walk fair going on near here.  I'd planned on going.  As the day approached, the bike I wanted to use (mountain bikes are safer in crowds than road bikes) didn't come back from the person whom I'd loaned it to.  Well hell.  Does this person REALLY have it still?  Excuses, excuses, to the point where I really am not sure what I believe.  Needless to say a small mound of issues hit, plantar fasciitis in the right foot, so no walking to and from;  did I mention the bike isn't back (yeah I did); depression for one reason or another just kicked in and pretty soon I not only didn't want to go, but decided that nobody there would find me of value as a person.  I stayed home.

I'm doing my best, trying to restart my journaling, hoping to get a handle on exercise without causing the inflamed plantar tissue to get worse.

To quote Kurt Vonnegut, "and so it goes".

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